


a little jealousy

by Yahong



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Absolute fluff, F/M, Fluff, Jealousy, Possessiveness, but only to a healthy degree because Y/N has her stuff together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-05-07 10:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19207759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yahong/pseuds/Yahong
Summary: How would Monsta X act as jealous boyfriends? A series of separate one-shots for each member.Originally posted onTumblr.





	1. a little jealousy: Shownu

Today’s your first time on the set of a music video. As a relatively junior make-up artist working with Monsta X, you’ve only done music shows and some fansigns; it’s a mark of progress to become part of the on-site staff. **  
**

“Y/N-sunbae!”

Which is why you’re maybe a  _little_ salty that Dongwon, the brand-new intern who just joined two weeks ago under Jiyoo-sunbae, got the call to come along today to help with styling. He trots over to you with a smile, and you try and smile back. After all, it’s not his fault that Jiyoo’s more generous than your manager is.

“Hello, Dongwon-ssi.”

He holds up the thick pile of garments in his arms. “These are Shownu’s outfits for this morning. Manager says he’ll be filming his solo scenes first.”

“Got it.” You hold open the trailer door and Dongwon manoeuvres his load inside. “Is Shownu coming now?”

“Yes, I think so, sunbae,” he replies as he painstakingly hangs the clothes one by one on the rack next to the vanity.

“You don’t have to call me sunbae,” you tell him. It’s honestly weird to hear it considering you just graduated a year ago yourself.

“What?” He looks at you in surprise, then beams wider. “Then… please take care of me, Y/N-noona.”

 _UH??_  You gape at the dude, who’s now giving you a deep bow. “I meant — you can call me Y/N-ssi.”  _Not noona…!_

Dongwon jerks his head up, eyes wide. “O-oh.”

Awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” he adds meekly.

“It’s fine.”  _Jeez, interns._

You look away and WHOA there’s Shownu standing in the doorway, silently observing the two of you. When did he get here?

“Ah, hello.” You straighten and nod politely.

“Hello.” Taciturn as ever, Shownu moves into the trailer. He gives Dongwon a long look, and Dongwon in turn glances at you as if for help.

“Ah — have you met before? Shownu, this is Dongwon, a new intern. Dongwon, Monsta X’s leader Shownu.” You smile blandly at them both, hoping everyone will just move right past that awkward moment. “Shownu-ssi, you understand the concept today, right?”

“Yes.” Shownu meets your eyes in the mirror. “Boyfriend concept.”

“Right.”

This won’t be weird. Shownu’s very, very good at keeping the personal and professional private. It doesn’t matter that outside of work, he’s your boyfriend, because the fact is: you’re both at work, right now.

So you don’t ask him why he’s looking at you so intently; you just move aside so Dongwon can hand over the clothes. “Dongwon-ssi, please help Shownu-ssi change and come get me once he’s ready for make-up. I’ll be waiting just outside the trailer.”

“Yes, Y/N-sunbae — no, noona. Ah, I mean — ” Dongwon flushes red. “Yes, I will, yes.”

You stop yourself from rolling your eyes, give a perfunctory smile and step outside the trailer to wait.

Not five seconds later, the door bursts open and you jump up to see Dongwon holding a decapitated shirt collar in his hands. “Dongwon?”

“The collar came off,” he blurts in a panic, the flush still present in his face. “I just handed it to him and the collar ripped, noona, what do we do?”

“Okay, it’s fine, calm down,” you say quickly. “Go find Jiyoo-sunbae and let her know, she’ll pick out a replacement.”

“Okay!” Dongwon dashes off, the silk collar fluttering from his hand like an inauspicious white flag.

You peek cautiously inside to see Shownu standing with the other 90% of the shirt in his grasp. “Dongwon’s just gone to find Jiyoo-sunbae,” you tell him.

His head snaps round. "Right,” he says.

He’s looking at you like he’s got something on his mind, but he doesn’t say anything more, so you just nod, withdraw from the trailer and shut the door.

Jiyoo arrives at that moment with Dongwon on her heels. “Shownu ripped the shirt collar?” she says to you, more of an incredulous statement than a question.

You nod. “Yeah. Don’t ask me how.”

She clucks her tongue and heads into the trailer, muttering, “How am I going to convince Manager to expand our clothing budget like this…”

The door closes behind her, leaving Dongwon hovering on the doorstep beside you. He’s wringing his hands and shifting from foot to foot. You decide to take pity on him.

“Don’t worry, it isn’t your fault. Besides, Wonho’s done this several times before.”

He peers over with wide, wobbly eyes. “Really? I’ve never seen clothing rip like that.”

“You’ll get used to it around Monsta X,” you say wryly.

Dongwon laughs nervously and goes back to wringing his hands.

Jiyoo exits then with the corpse of the silk shirt in hand. “Dongwon-ah, I gave Shownu the blue zip-up shirt,” she announces. “Go on in and see if he needs any help.”

“Yes, Jiyoo-noona.” Dongwon snaps upright, gives a sharp nod and disappears inside.

You can’t help giving Jiyoo a curious look. “You let him call you noona.”

“Hm? Oh.” She shrugs, attention mostly on the shirt. “Yeah, he’s cute, why not.”

You have to laugh. “Sunbae…” No wonder Dongwon took to calling you noona so easily.

“I don’t think I can save this,” she says mournfully, turning the shirt over in her hands. “Manager’s going to cry.”

Honestly, you won’t be surprised if Dongwon falls in love with her by the end of his internship. Jiyoo’s slight obliviousness combined with her friendly manner regardless of hierarchy is next-level lethal.

* * *

An hour later, you’re touching up Shownu’s make-up between shoots.

“Can you be a little more careful around the new intern?” you say under your breath as you re-apply powder foundation at his hairline. “If you scare him off, Jiyoo-sunbae will be mad.”

“Scare him off?” he responds quietly. “I’m not scaring him.”

“I just watched you stick out your legs and trip him from across the room.”

Shownu frowns. “That wasn’t on purpose. His legs are short. Mine are long.”

Really, you’re inclined to believe him. Shownu’s the last person to mess with someone for no reason. Yet, every time Dongwon returns after helping Shownu with a wardrobe fix, he seems to have another scratch to the shin or a new water stain on his shirt hem.

“Why do you care?”

The words are spoken so softly, you almost miss them entirely. You blink and stop contouring his jawline. “What?”

Shownu glances at you before looking off to the side. “Nothing.”

At this point you’re not even sure you heard his quiet words correctly. None of this behaviour seems like him. But now isn’t the time to ask about it, not while you guys are in the middle of filming.

Except here comes Dongwon himself, with a water bottle and a small electric fan at the ready for Shownu. “Excuse me,” he says shyly to you, and you shuffle to the side to let him direct the wind at Shownu.

“Not the face,” you tell him, “the powder isn’t set yet.”

Dongwon nods and points the fan at his neck instead. “Yes, noona.”

A sudden sharp movement.

“Aah — !”

The bottle flies from Dongwon’s grasp and hits the ground; water spills everywhere. You leap back with your make-up brushes clutched to your chest while Dongwon drops to the ground and scrambles to pick up the water bottle, yelping “Sorry!” over and over. Shownu remains frozen in his chair, staring at his outstretched hand with bemusement on his face.

“Shownu…?” you say questioningly.

He looks to you. “Y/N-ah?” he says in an equally confused tone, as though you might be able to explain why he just casually flicked the water bottle straight out of Dongwon’s hand.

And — since when does he address you so informally at work? You glance around to see if anyone nearby might’ve heard. But there’s only Dongwon, wiping at the puddle on the ground with his bare hands, poor boy.

“Dongwon-ssi, don’t worry about it,” you say hastily. “It’s all right, please get up.”

“I think Jiyoo is calling for you,” Shownu adds, tucking his hands back to his sides.

“Ah, really?” Dongwon’s head shoots up. “Then, please excuse me.” He bobs a quick bow and scurries off across the set.

You turn back to stare at your boyfriend some more. “Shownu,” you say.

“Yes?” he says. There’s a frown notched into his brow.

You have no idea what you want to say. In the middle of the hustle and bustle of the music video set, the two of you stare at each other in silent, mutual puzzlement.

“One minute,” the PD calls out, and the moment breaks.

“Never mind,” you say quickly, and put your make-up brush to work again. With a final pat to his jaw, you stand back. “Okay, you’re good. Go ahead.”

Shownu stands, but lingers in front of you.

Backing up a discreet step, you ask, “Is something wrong?”

His gaze searches yours for a brief moment, before he shakes his head. “Nothing.”

* * *

You’re  _pretty_  sure it’s not nothing. So a few hours later, over a quick dinner of cup noodles between takes, you broach the topic again in the privacy of his trailer. “Shownu.”

“Yes?” He looks up from his food.

You perch carefully on the chair beside him. “Is everything okay with Dongwon?” you ask in a lower tone.

Shownu stills immediately, a subtle stiffening of his body. “What do you mean?” he says, tone wary but polite.

“I just noticed you and him seem to be running into each other a lot.” Literally, once; a light brush against Shownu’s broad frame had sent Dongwon stumbling for a good metre or two. “Is there anything going on between you two?”

“No,” he replies firmly. He takes a moment, licks his lips, then adds, “What about you?”

“Hm? What about me?”

He hesitates again before continuing. “You… seem close.”

You gape. “Me and Dongwon?”

“No?” he challenges.

“No!” you sputter. “Why would you think — ”

“He calls you noona.” Shownu’s eyes shift off to the side.

“So?!”

“…So, the two of you sound close.”

 _Oh good God_. “Are you jealous?” You can’t keep your disbelief out of your voice. “Of the  _intern?”_

“No.” It’s a quick denial, but then he rethinks. “Well. Maybe? I don’t know,” he admits.

Okay, now it’s kind of funny. “Shownu, Jiyoo-sunbae told him he could call her noona. He addresses all the women like that. Didn’t you notice?”

“Oh. Really?” Shownu meets your gaze for a second before looking away again. “…I didn’t notice.”

A chuckle escapes you. “Pay attention and you’ll see, all right?”

Sheepishly he nods. But before you can pat yourself on the back for communicating clearly and resolving this minor misunderstanding in your relationship, Dongwon pokes his head into the trailer and steps just inside.  _Speak of the devil._

“The director says five minutes, Shownu-ssi, Y/N-noona,” he chirps.

And suddenly Shownu’s standing, soggy cup noodle bowl dramatically half-crushed in a fist. One look at his expressionless face has Dongwon backpedalling right out the front door and looking to you for support.

“Thanks, Dongwon-ssi, we’ll be there,” you respond for the both of you, propping a smile on your face to make up for the constant frights he’s been enduring.

As Dongwon hurries away as fast as his legs will take him, you turn to Shownu. “Hey. Remember when I said not to scare him off?”

Shownu’s watching Dongwon’s retreating figure through the open door. A neck roll produces an ominous crack.

You drop your voice. “Hyunwoo.”

The sound of his real name finally makes him look round. “Ah, yes?”

 _This guy, honestly_. You touch your fingers to his. “There’s nothing to be jealous of,” you say softly. “Okay?”

Finally his body relaxes. “Okay,” he agrees. That familiar sheepish look is settling in again. Affection surges through you; you wish you could kiss that adorable expression right off his face.

You give his hand a squeeze and then withdraw. “Back to work?” you say with a smile.

He nods firmly.

“No more tripping the intern, right?” You point at him as you walk backward out the door.

“It was an accident!”


	2. the way you look at him instead of me: Wonho

“For the last few songs I wrote, I worked with PD Woozi, PD Taehyun and PD Mino. I wanted to get a different feel for this song, so I’m really looking forward to collaborating on this one with you, Y/N-noona.”

Cue Wonho’s bunny smile.

You do your best to smile back, but it’s a bit hard. He’s been in your studio for only five minutes and already you’ve gotten a clear sense of how many male producers have gotten to work with Monsta X. You recognize almost all the names; you know that Mino, for example, got his first songwriting credit on a KNK B-side track just two months ago. And now he’s already working with Monsta X’s company?

You’re one of the few female producers in the business of churning out K-pop hits, and while South Korea might be a relatively advanced country technologically, gender bias still has a firm grip almost everywhere. Just yesterday you were turned down three separate times by three separate idol group PDs. You’ve been in the industry for over five years, and still sometimes you can’t even get a demo in their hands before they’re shutting the metaphorical door in your face.

“I’m looking forward to working with you too, Wonho-yah,” you say, the appropriate rote response to his sentiment.

His smile fades a little and he tilts his head at you. You get the uncomfortable feeling that he’s going to ask if you’re all right, so you move on. “Do you have a demo already?

“Ah, no I don’t. I asked Minhyuk-ah and Kihyunnie to record some sample vocal lines, but I wanted to show you first.”

“Okay, let’s hear it then.” You make room on your desk for him to prop open his laptop.

He pulls his chair closer to yours and leans in to navigate to the song. The warmth of his nearness makes you look over reflexively, and then his deltoids capture your attention.

A spark of attraction zaps through you, hard. You almost flinch. There’s always been something of a pull between you two, a pull that sometimes makes you wonder what would happen if you were younger and not part of the industry and Wonho was the type of person to indulge in quiet indiscretions.

At that moment, Wonho turns to you. Whatever words he was about to say fade as the two of you lock eyes. The silence abruptly seems very, very loud. His lips…

But. You’re older, and you’re a female songwriter and producer, and Wonho is an idol with a million and one fans. The facts are enough to make you look away.

You fix your eyes on his screen. “Is this the demo?”

“Ah—yes.” Wonho clears his throat roughly, and you take miserable solace in the fact that you’re not the only one feeling this way. “Here, let me play it through once. Please let me know what you think.”

Fortunately, it’s easy to engross yourself in the work. Two hours fly by as you discuss melody lines, chord progressions, verse structure and more with Wonho, who’s very receptive and open. After a little encouragement, he also starts sharing his own ideas more freely.

“See, I think the background accompaniment is good if it’s strong here, it kind of sounds like it’s swallowing up the main vocal line — ”

“Swallowing?” you say skeptically.

He nods several times. “This song is about falling into love, right? So you fall and you’re swallowed.”

“It sounds blurry like this, though. Unintentionally blurry.”

“It  _sounds_  blurry, but if you think about it, the blurriness could represent your senses closing in as you fall. It’s kind of a trap, you know?”

You cock your head. “Honestly, I don’t think that’s the effect achieved here.”

“You don’t get it — ah, I’m not explaining well.” Wonho sits back with a huff, scrubbing his hands through his hair.

“I don’t get it?” you echo, torn between amusement and the urge to kick his impertinent little ass.

He realizes what he said and immediately turns, palms toward you in supplication. “No, no, Y/N-noona, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that I didn’t explain well. It’s not your fault at all.”

Your irritation fades, leaving behind the amusement. “Well, Wonho-ssi,” you say jokingly, “if you can’t explain well and you keep offending people like this, you’ll just have to work on your songs all by yourself, right?”

“No, noona,” he says, looking half-agonized now. His hands are fluttering in between you two like sacrificial pigeons. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

You can’t help but laugh. “I’m teasing, it’s fine.” You punch him in the shoulder and  _oh God_ , his deltoids. The spark comes back; things inside you clench involuntarily.

Wonho’s looking at you with an expression like a chastened puppy, and the juxtaposition between his soft face and his hard muscles is somewhere close to fatal. You push back all the not-so-clean thoughts in your mind and repeat, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it, okay?”

He bobs a nod, but can’t help apologizing once more. “I’m sorry.”

“Why don’t we try easing back on the accompaniment, and see how it sounds? If it’s still not right, you can always experiment more.”

“Okay, noona.”

Around lunchtime, your stomach growls. You slap a hand to it, then mock-frown at Wonho’s little chuckle. “Sorry, I think I need some food. You probably have to get back to the company too, right? We can call it a day.”

“I actually don’t need to go back to the company for lunch,” he says, announcing it proudly like he’s earned some rare privilege. (Actually, maybe it  _is_  a rare privilege for idols like him.) “What about eating together?”

“Ordering delivery, right?” you check.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Wonho insists on deferring to your preferences, so you end up ordering from your favourite ramen shop. As expected, he’s perfectly happy with your choice. The two of you keep discussing the song until your phone rings with the call from the delivery person. A few minutes after you buzz them into the building, a knock comes at the door of your studio.

When you open the door, a smile spreads on your face instinctively: it’s Hyuntae, a part-timer at the ramen shop who you’ve become familiar with. “Hyuntae-oppa! I thought it was your voice on the phone, but I wasn’t sure.”

“You didn’t recognize me? I recognized you right away.” Hyuntae pretends to be offended, but his eyes are sparkling.

“That’s just because you saw my name on the order,” you joke, accepting the food from him.

“Still, you order from us so often. I’d have thought you’d be able to tell me apart by now.” He winks. “By the way, why’d you order all this? Don’t tell me you’re going to eat ramen for lunch  _and_  dinner?”

“No! It’s for two people. I don’t love your food that much.”

“Oh, you don’t? Then how come I bring you ramen every other day, hmm?”

You’re laughing and denying it when you feel a warmth at your side. You look round to find Wonho standing right beside you, staring at Hyuntae like the guy just said he hates Monsta X.

“Ah, Wonho?” you say, a little unnerved.

Wonho doesn’t break the stare until when Hyuntae stops smiling at you and starts frowning questioningly at Wonho. At that point, Wonho turns to you, creasing the corners of his mouth in a half-smile, and takes the food from you. “Y/N-noona, let me pay for the food, okay?”

“Oh, I already paid through the app,” you inform him.

“Yep, she’s good,” Hyuntae adds.

That does not make Wonho’s expression look any less foreboding. He returns his gaze to Hyuntae and shifts his weight closer to you. “Then, thanks for delivering it,” he says, and nonchalantly leans a hip into you. “We should get back to our work, right, noona?”

You teeter slightly under his weight before catching yourself. “Uh, yeah. Thanks, oppa.”

“No problem, Y/N-ah.” Hyuntae gives you a chipper salute. “Call anytime, okay?”

“Got it.” You give him a finger-gun back, then wave goodbye.

When you turn to close the door, you nearly run into Wonho. He’s still standing at the doorway, ramen in his hands, that glare on his face.

“Wonho-yah?”

He blinks, then refocuses on you. “Ah, yes. Yes?”

You gesture to the food. “Shall we eat?”

“Right! Yes.” He finally moves back into the studio, allowing you to close the door.

You relocate to the tiny card table next to the desk and set out the steaming take-out dishes. You’re pulling out the disposable chopsticks when Wonho speaks. “So I guess you go to that ramen shop a lot? For him to recognize you.”

“Yeah.” You nod as you snap your chopsticks and start rubbing them against each other. “We’re familiar because he loves this one girl group song that I helped to write, so he thinks I’m a big deal or something. It’s kind of silly, but it was the first time I felt like I’d really achieved something.”

“I see.” Wonho yanks his chopsticks apart with a resounding  _snap_ , and you almost expect bamboo splinters to fly.

After another short while, he speaks up again. “You know, you shouldn’t have ramen too often. It’s not really healthy.”

You stop blowing on your ramen to look over at him. “I thought you love ramen? Isn’t that one of the things you’re known for as an idol?”

“It’s because I love it that I know it’s unhealthy!” he defends himself. “I always take lots of protein to supplement. I mean, I just think it’s important for people in general to know how to eat well.”

You smile at him. “All right, I got it.”

He drops his eyes to his food, mumbles, “So don’t order from that ramen shop too much,” and proceeds to stuff noodles into his mouth.

“Sure, okay.”

Your easy acquiescence seems to lift his mood. The rest of the meal passes by affably, with him sharing funny stories about recent Monsta X exploits while you laugh and shake your head in affectionate wonder at the mysterious machine that is K-pop. By the time the food’s done, your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

“I feel like I talked a lot about myself,” Wonho says, pushing his empty ramen bowl to the side. “What about you, noona?”

“What about me?” You pick up the dishes and head to the garbage can to dump them.

“What’s going on with you? We haven’t been in touch for a while.”

You sit back down and shrug lightly. “Lots of things here and there. Just finding my way through the industry, you know.”

The lightness of your shrug and tone must not be entirely convincing, because Wonho leans forward on the edge of his seat to peer at you. “Noona?”

“Yes?”

“Do you… want to talk to me about it?” he asks hesitantly.

“Talk to you about what?” you deflect, hunching your shoulders in unconscious defensiveness.

But he squares his body to you and leans in some more. “Anything. Is something bothering you? You don’t have to tell me, but sometimes — sometimes it’s helpful to talk to somebody else, no matter what it is.”

You hesitate.

“I want to help,” he says, very firmly, and looks at you with open, vulnerable eyes. “If I can.”

It’s impossible to doubt his sincerity.

So even though you’re not sure that he’ll see your point of view as a man, that there’s anything he  _can_  do to help, you tell him.

By the end, he’s frowning so hard his brow is scrunched into three lines. “Wow. I’m really sorry to hear that, noona. I didn’t know that kind of sexist stuff happened.”

“It’s okay,” you say automatically. It’s not, but neither is it his fault. “It’s just been eating at me for a while, that’s all. But I’ll keep working hard with people like you and build up my credentials until my time comes.”

“But it’s unfair.”

He doesn’t even question the validity of your experiences, which surprises and touches you more than his sympathy does. “It is unfair,” you agree. “But that’s how it is, I’ve accepted it.”

“No,” he says, sitting up straighter. “I want to help you.”

“What?” Now you’re definitely surprised.

“I know songwriters and producers who want collaborators,” he continues, picking up steam. “It might not happen right away, but I could at least make introductions for you.”

“Wonho-yah, you really don’t have to —”

“And I know Changkyunnie would probably be willing to work with you.” There’s a determined glint in his eyes. “He really liked that song we produced together for  _Trespass_ , he even asked me if I wrote it alone or with someone else.”

Okay, that stops you for a second. “Changkyun?” you repeat. You’ve never worked with an actual rapper before, and you’ve always wanted to.

“Yeah!” Wonho launches to his feet enthusiastically. “That would be so easy to set up.”

“Do you think we could?” You’re starting to hope; Wonho’s energy is infectious.

“Definitely.” He beams at you. “Would you want to?”

“If it’s not too much trouble, then yes, definitely! I’ve always wanted to work with someone like Changkyun.”

“Oh?” Wonho tilts his head at you.

“Yeah.” You’re getting excited now. “Do you think he’d say yes? To working with me?”

“I didn’t know you’ve always wanted to work with Changkyun,” Wonho says instead of answering. His head tilts further.

“Why not, right? He writes his own lyrics, and he’s worked on so many songs — I’m sure you know that better than me. It’s especially impressive considering he’s the maknae. And I’ve never worked with a rapper.” Giddiness bubbles in you, and you suppress a bounce.

You almost fail to notice that the energy is slowly draining out of Wonho’s body. “Ah, well, great,” he says, sounding lacklustre now.

You stop your internal party and focus on him. What’s going on? All the excitement from just a moment ago is gone.

He feels you staring at him and quickly tries to recover. “I’ll ask Changkyun, for sure. Just… how about we get back to working on my songs for now?”

“Of course,” you say. “That’s why we’re here, after all.”

Wonho shuffles back to his seat at the computer desk. When you sit down beside him, you catch him mumbling something like, “…didn’t seem like it anymore.”

“Sorry?”

He just gives a small sniff and keeps his attention on the laptop in front of him.

“Wonho-yah.” You put a hand on his shoulder and do your best to ignore the spark. “Is something the matter?”

He looks round promptly at your touch. “No,” he says. “I’ve just never seen you so eager like that before.”

You withdraw, puzzled by the slight prickliness in his words. “Really?”

“You looked like you were going to grab my cell phone and call Changkyunnie right there on the spot,” he says, almost accusingly.

“What???”

“Are you ever that eager to work with me?”

You just blink at him in bewilderment and, also, the tiniest, tiniest bit of excitement.  _Is he… is this…_

He seems to take your lack of response as confirmation, and resettles himself to face the computers with a grumpy huff. “No. You’re not.”

“Wonho-yah.” When he doesn’t look at you, you dare to take his chin and pull his face toward you. He maintains his sullen look, but his breath seems to come faster. “Wonho-yah,” you repeat.

He doesn’t pull away from your grasp. “What, noona?”

“Are you… jealous?”

The question hovers in the air between you two. Your faces are centimetres apart; if you tipped your head forward, your nose would brush his. He’s breathing shallowly. You’re barely breathing at all.

Just when you decide you have to pull away, Wonho closes the space between you and puts his lips on yours.

You gasp into his mouth, both from the lack of air in your lungs and the shock of the contact, and a muffled sound comes from Wonho’s throat that makes everything inside you clench once again. Then his jaw is angled hard against you and he’s leaning his weight into the kiss like he wants to dive into you. You clutch at his arms, which have somehow wrapped around your body, and nearly melt at the solidness of his biceps. The feel of being wrapped up in him is entirely too good to be true.

He eases back, leaving both of you panting, and you lock eyes again. He’s searching for something in your face, explicit consent maybe, and you give it by leaning in and taking his lips this time. Next thing you know, his tongue is in your mouth and you’re halfway onto his lap and his fingers are in your hair, massaging your scalp so tenderly that you can’t help giving a small moan.

At the sound, his teeth close around your bottom lip, and you jerk reflexively. That causes you to come into contact with a hard bulge that all of a sudden makes his lap a hazardous place to sit.

“Ahh…” Wonho draws back and gives a hiss of air as you shift away from his erection. “ _Fuck_.”

“Wonho,” you manage to get out.

“Yes, noona,” he says on a pant, his eyes flicking between your eyes and your lips.

“We need to talk first, okay?”

He gives a low whine when you try to pull back and tightens his grip on you. “We can talk like this.”

You have to give a breathless laugh. Aren’t men supposed to get  _less_  amorous when a woman says “Let’s talk”? Nevertheless, you let him arrange you so that you’ve got both legs curled up on his lap, not quite straddling him. In his current state, you feel like one wrong movement on your part could injure him, but he doesn’t seem to share your concern.

“Okay.” You attempt to clear your throat. “Okay.”

“Noona,” he says, heading you off. “You wanted that, right?”

You’re not usually the blushing type, not with your darker skin, but you’re pretty sure you’re blushing right now. “I — yes. But — you’re an idol, you know,” you blurt, trying to get this talk back on track. “An idol.”

“I know,” he says. In this position, you’re a little taller than he is, and you can clearly see him looking at your mouth, which happens to be level with his eyes. Despite yourself, butterflies start up in your stomach.

“And I work in your industry, Wonho-yah —”

“And we work together, and I’m part of Monsta X, and I’m contracted to the company, and you have to face all that sexist bullshit that you just told me about,” he finishes for you. “I know all this, noona. I’ve thought about it before.”

“Okay, well, good.” Why don’t these facts sound as much like barriers when he says them?

“We’ll figure it all out,” he says simply. “I promise.”

“You promise,” you repeat.

“Yes,” he says.

“It’s not that easy, Wonho-yah.”

“But I’m going to try.” He gazes up at you with those vulnerable eyes of his. “Trust me, noona.”

_He says he’ll try._

So you say, “…I’ll try.”

You’ll try to trust him. It’s the most you can say right now, because the fears and worries are real. But so is he, right now.  _So are we_.

In any case, Wonho seems satisfied with that, because he proceeds to completely change the subject. “You want me more than you wanted to work with Changkyun, right?”

Ummmm, what? “Is this an either-or situation?” you hedge.

“No. As long as it’s clear that you’re off-limits to him.”

“Wonho-yah.”

“And to your Hyuntae-oppa, too.”

“He’s not  _my_  Hyuntae-oppa.”

Wonho pulls you close, his strength overriding yours easily, and nuzzles into your stomach. “No,” he says, voice muffled. “You’re mine.”

“Wonho-yah, really…” You tug gently at his hair.

He tilts his head up and looks at you. “I’ll be yours too,” he says softly, “if you want.”

Aaaand that’s it. K.O. You’re dead. Slain by this boy who’s staring at you like he’s promising to use all the muscles he’ll ever build to search the world and give you whatever you want.

You lift a hand and rest it across his eyes. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” He tugs at your arm.

“Stop looking at me like that when I’m trying to talk to you about something important.”

“How am I looking at you?” Now there’s a suggestive undertone in his voice.

You’re about to smack him for his cheek when his phone starts ringing on the desk. Startled, you quickly slide off his lap, clutching at his shoulders for balance, and reach for the phone.

“It’s Changkyun.”

In a flash Wonho’s standing and prying the phone away from you. “Don’t answer it!”

“I wouldn’t, it’s your phone.” You hold back a laugh at how panicked he looks. “But you’re going to ask him if he wants to work with me, right?”

He shoots you a stern frown. “Of course. After I tell him that you’re with  _me_.”

And now you have to laugh.

“It’s true, isn’t it, noona?”

“Wonho-yah…”

“We’re together now. You want me, right?”

“Answer the phone, okay?”

“Noona! Answer me first!”


	3. imagining you with someone else: Minhyuk

It’s the first time that Minhyuk has picked you up from work. Having an idol as a boyfriend doesn’t lend itself well to everyday romantic moments like getting off work together, and you’re kind of worried that he’ll be recognized and mobbed in public even with his mask and bucket hat on. Nevertheless, he seems very willing to take the risk, and you have to admit that seeing him waiting at the foot of your office building felt really nice.

“Wow, it’s so busy,” Minhyuk marvels, spinning around in a circle as he walks beside you.

You tug him closer so he doesn’t impede the thick human traffic on the sidewalk.  “Watch out, don’t hurt yourself.”

He happily takes the opportunity to loop your arms together. “So this is what it feels like to be an office worker.”

“A part of it, yes,” you humour him.

“It feels nice. I like knowing how you spend your day.” Minhyuk pulls his mask down to smile at you.

“Minhyuk-ah, don’t do that.” You draw him off the sidewalk and out of the rush of people to pull his mask back up.

He lets you do it, but he scowls to make his displeasure clear. “Look, Y/N-ah, nobody’s even paying any attention.” He gestures grandly into the streams of people.

You bat his arm down. “Let’s just be careful, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Okay.” That softens him right up, as you planned, and his smile is apparent from his eye-creases.

You smile back and lean in to peck him on his nose, making him just about wriggle with glee. But before you can turn and lead him back onto the sidewalk, someone calls your name.

“Y/N?”

Both you and Minhyuk look round to see a man emerge from the crowds and walk toward you, waving.

“Oh — Jaekyun?” You’re taken aback. Sure, you and your ex met because you both worked downtown and frequented the same coffee shop, but after you broke up, you didn’t think you’d see him again, what with the sheer number of people working downtown. Seeing his face right now feels a little alarming.

“Long time no see!” He smiles genially and walks right up to you. “How’ve you been?”

“It’s been a while,” you agree. “I’m well, you?”

“Good, good.” Jaekyun’s gaze drifts to your left, and you realize that Minhyuk’s got a death grip on your elbow. “Your new boyfriend?”

You thank the heavens that Jaekyun avoids K-pop culture like the plague. “Yes, please meet Lee Minhyuk,” you say, and wiggle your arm until Minhyuk finally lets go and extends a hand to shake. “Minhyuk-ah, this is Kim Jaekyun. I mentioned him to you before, remember?”

“Ah, yes,” Minhyuk says, as he and Jaekyun exchange a handshake that looks a tad tight. “Your  _ex_ -boyfriend.”

Uh-oh, that’s not a happy tone of voice from him. “Anyway,” you say, trying to wrap things up, “nice to see you, Jaekyun-ssi.”

“We should go for coffee again sometime, Y/N-ah,” Jaekyun says instead of taking the hint. “I haven’t seen you at our coffee shop for a while now.”

This guy, seriously. Even when you were dating, he never made an effort to pick up what you tried to lay down.

Of course, Minhyuk has something to say. “Maybe that’s because she doesn’t want to see you,” he says, puffing up at your side. “You didn’t consider that?”

“Minhyuk-ah,” you whisper.

“What?” he says to you with a frown, gaze fixed on Jaekyun.

“Perhaps you didn’t know, but our break-up was amicable,” Jaekyun says. He has the nerve to shoot you an amused smile, as if the two of you are in on some secret that your boyfriend isn’t. “We decided to remain friends afterward.”

Minhyuk snorts. “As if.”

Quickly you slide in before this can devolve into a spat. “Jaekyun-ssi,” you say directly, “I won’t have time to go for coffee with you anytime soon. I hope you understand.”

He purses his lips, then nods. “All right, if that’s how it is.”

“It is,” Minhyuk says firmly. “Y/N-ah, shouldn’t we be heading home?”

“Ah, yes.” You muster up a tight smile for your ex, then tow Minhyuk back into the tide of people.

He comes willingly but silently. For the duration of the bus ride to your neighbourhood, he’s got his arm around your back, chin propped on your shoulder with a pout stamped on his lips. When you try to ask him what’s wrong, he just shakes his head and refuses to speak.

By the time you get home, you’ve had enough. The moment the two of you step into your small studio apartment, you shut the door and confront him. “Minhyuk-ah, can you just  _talk_  to me?”

His moue wavers as he struggles to maintain his silence, but he can’t resist an invitation to talk. “Your ex-boyfriend,” he says, crossing his arms. “He still wants you.”

Seriously? “Nooo, he doesn’t,” you tell him. “I told you about him, don’t you remember? He literally said, ‘Okay, thanks for letting me know’ when I asked to break up.”

“And now he wants you back! Didn’t you hear him say  _our_  coffee shop?”

“That’s just because we first met at that coffee shop near his building, there isn’t some deeper meaning.”

Minhyuk’s eyebrows draw up. “That  _is_  the deeper meaning, Y/N-ah!”

You sigh and turn away. “Look, it doesn’t matter whether he still wants me because I don’t want him, got it? I want you, and only you.” You kick off your shoes and head into your apartment in a huff.

You’ve just reached the kitchen counter when Minhyuk’s arms loop around your waist. “I believe you,” he says in your ear. “I just didn’t like meeting him. You get it, right?”

“I get it,” you say, resting a hand on his forearm, “but I’d still like you to be less rude, okay? We can afford to be civil, at least.”

He tightens his arms around you and pulls you deeper into his back hug. “Well, I don’t plan on meeting Jaekyun-ssi anytime soon.”

“I mean if we run into…” You trail off, then clamp your mouth shut.

But Minhyuk picks up on what you’re saying. “How many ex-boyfriends do you have?” he asks suspiciously.

“Not many!” you hurry to say. “I just mean, it’s better to be polite in general, you know?” You try to twist out of his grasp, but Minhyuk only lets you turn far enough so that you’re facing him before he closes his hands around your hips again.

“Y/N-ah,” he says, voice a little lower.

With effort, you maintain eye contact. “What is it?”

“How many ex-boyfriends do you have?”

There’s no trace of his usual good humour on his face. “Minhyuk-ah, it doesn’t matter.” You strain a little at his hold. “I’m not going to ask you how many girlfriends you’ve had, okay—”

“I only had one before you,” he says readily. “And I’m not going to have any after you.”

Ugh, that lethal honesty of his. “Right, okay,” you buffer, “but does it really matter? I don’t care if you’ve had one or twenty.”

Minhyuk’s frown deepens before he suddenly ducks his head and tucks his chin over your shoulder. “It shouldn’t matter,” he says, and you shiver at the feel of his breath ghosting over your neck. “But I really…  _really_  don’t like imagining you with other people besides me.”

At the hint of vulnerability in his voice, you wrap your arms around his back and stroke a soothing line down his spine. “Then don’t,” you tell him. “I’m with you now.”

“Mm. Right.” When Minhyuk pulls back, you find his eyes focused on your mouth. You only have to tilt your head the slightest to get him to lean in and kiss you.

It’s so, so sweet, the careful and thorough way he licks and nips and eats at you like he’s committing the taste of you to memory. The kiss feels delicate, and you lean forward a little to seek a bit more pressure and sensation. Minhyuk gives easily, and you end up kissing down his jawline as he angles his head back and breathes out tiny sighs of bliss.

You’re not yet halfway down his neck when the sight of red skin greets you. Alarmed, you jerk your head back and stare the bruised skin on Minhyuk’s neck. “Ah — Minhyuk-ah, I didn’t do that, did I?”

“Wha — what?” Minhyuk blinks and looks down at you in a daze.

“This red skin here, it looks like a bruise.” You trace the area anxiously. “It wasn’t me, was it?”

“Ah, no no.” He chuckles a bit breathlessly, good mood restored, and takes your hand in his. “My skin turns red easily, it’s been red ever since I wore a choker for our schedule this morning.” He kisses your knuckles playfully and teases, “You’re my girlfriend and you don’t even know this?”

“But if you go back like this,” you check, “the others and the staff won’t think anything of it?”

“No, they won’t,” he soothes you, lacing his fingers with yours. “To be honest, you could give me all the bruises you want and they probably wouldn’t be able to tell.”

You wrinkle your nose. “No thanks.”

Minhyuk cocks his head with interest. “You don’t like hickies?”

“Well, I don’t mind them. But it feels wrong to mark you.”

“Why?” he asks with a little laugh. “I don’t mind them either.”

“Yeah, but you’re an idol,” you say, pulling your hand free to gesture at him from head-to-toe. “You’re like… public property.”

Minhyuk laughs again and swoops in to peck you. “But I’m also yours,” he says, and draws back to give you a lopsided wink.

You roll your eyes, but smile. “You’re so cheesy.”

“You should say you’re mine, too,” he informs you.

“Do I need to say it?” You duck out from underneath him and head to the fridge to start dinner. “I’m not public property.”

“No.” He follows close behind. “You’re private property. Mine.”

You laugh. “Private property?”

“Yes.” His hands press yours against the fridge door before you can open it; you can feel his body along the length of your back. “It’s okay to mark private property, right?”

His voice is still light, but there’s a suggestive current in his words that makes you turn to try and see what he’s doing. “Minhyuk-ah — ?”

The wet heat of his mouth touches the nape of your neck and you still instantly. Minhyuk gives a small pleased hum, then applies his tongue, and a shudder works its way through you from head to toe. He sucks, enthusiastically. You nearly crumple against the fridge on shaky legs.

The scrape of teeth causes you to suck in a breath. Minhyuk detaches his mouth at the sound, and cool air rushes over the damp spot that his efforts have created. “Y/N-ah?” he says.

“Yes?” you say weakly.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, but… what are you doing?”

His tongue laps around the curve of your neck, and you swallow. “You said you can’t mark me.”

He’s never given or asked for anything close to a hickey before.

“But I can mark you.”

But he’s also never shown this much jealousy before.

“And you have all those ex-boyfriends out there.”

And he’s never asked about the rest of your ex-boyfriends before.

“So…”

He turns you around to press your back against the fridge. You look into his dark glowing eyes and gulp again.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he says softly, and puts his mouth to work.


	4. stop talking about him, stop it: Kihyun

It’s never great to hear criticism at work, no matter how constructive. It stings even more because it’s coming from Seonwoo, the newest hire in the Monsta X video production team. Although he seems to be about your age, apparently his credentials are good enough that Manager hired him one level above you.

But you’re a professional, so you accept his words as gracefully as you can. “I see, so the videos featuring Kihyun seem too conversational?”

Seonwoo nods. “Too conversational with you, the VJ behind the camera. According to my analysis of Monsta X behind-the-scenes videos, the most popular are those where the members interact with the camera directly, as though speaking to fans.”

“Yes, that makes sense,” you say politely. Honestly, you know this. It’s why Wonho and Minhyuk are great to work with, and Shownu not so much.

“I noticed a lot of videos with Kihyun were filmed by you, so I just wanted to mention this to you,” Seonwoo says with a smile.

It doesn’t feel as if he’s trying to be  _too_ condescending, so you give him the benefit of the doubt and reply, “Thanks. I’ll review my work and check for that.”

“If you’d like, we can go over the videos together and I can point out what I think,” he offers.

“Sure,” you say with an internal sigh. “Well, I don’t have any more meetings today, so I was going to head straight to the computer room to look at the raws after this.”

“I don’t have any more meetings, either. How about I join you now?”

You just nod and let him fall into step beside you.

The computer room’s empty when you arrive, save for one person with bulky headphones in the far corner playing some game. You settle down at your usual computer and pull out your USB sticks. Seonwoo seats himself beside you.

“We all keep our own project files on portable memory,” you say, making small talk as the video editing software fires up. “The storage capacity on these computers isn’t great, but they’re fast, so the whole VJ team shares them.”

“I see.” Seonwoo nods solemnly and watches you open a work-in-progress video taken from behind the scenes at a music show.

You’re assuming he wants to talk about why you suck at interacting with Kihyun, so you skip through Changkyun’s and Hyungwon’s parts to find the ten-minute long conversation with Kihyunnie. “Here’s what I’m working on now.”

Seonwoo leans in and you hand him an earbud, then play the clip.

In the footage, Kihyun’s explaining the small card he designed to give out to Monbebe. You hate to admit it, but you can start to see Seonwoo’s point. Kihyun’s gaze oftens moves above the camera lens instead of straight into it; he’s clearly talking to the VJ, not the fans.

“You see here — ” Seonwoo reaches past you to hit pause. “He spent the past ten seconds speaking above the lens.”

“Yes,” you acknowledge. “He tends to go into a lot of depth whenever we ask him to describe something. So I usually edit for length, and in that process I remove a lot of the off-lens footage.”

“But I think it would be optimal to have the most solid footage possible to begin with,” Seonwoo replies, “so that we have more choice when it comes to editing.”

“Of course,” you say. “That’s always the principle.” But obviously, it’s harder to put into practice.

“Great. May I suggest something?” Seonwoo leans in again and frames Kihyun’s face on the screen. “When he starts talking off-lens, raise the camera and change the angle to remove yourself from his line of sight. You can back up too, that would have the same effect.”

“Right,” you say slowly. “Remove myself from the conversation.”

He snaps his fingers and points at you. “Exactly.”

You nod, but the prospect of distancing yourself isn’t exactly something you want to cheer about. It makes you feel interchangeable, in a way, like you’re just a human prop there to hold a camera in front of the Monsta X members.

You don’t want to be interchangeable to them, to Kihyun.

Before your thoughts can get too angsty, your name surprises you.

“Y/N-noona?”

_Speak of the devil._

Both you and Seonwoo look round to see Kihyun approaching. His hair is mussed from the bulky headphones you saw earlier, which are now dangling around his neck.

“Kihyun-ah!” You sit up straight and instinctively alt-tab to another window. “I didn’t know that was you in the corner.”

“Yeah, I didn’t hear you come in,” he says with a sheepish grin.

“What were you playing, Overwatch?” Your smile comes much more easily now. “I think you should give up on trying to beat Vixx’s Hongbin, you know.”

“Who said I’m trying to beat Hongbin-sunbae?” Kihyun defends himself immediately.

You have to laugh at how quickly he got his hackles up. “All right, never mind, I’m just joking.”

Beside you, Seonwoo clears his throat subtly, and you’re abruptly reminded of his unfavourable view of your interactions with Kihyun. So you wipe the laughter from your voice and make introductions.

“By the way, have you met Seonwoo? Seonwoo-ssi, this is Kihyun of Monsta X. Kihyun-ssi, this is Seonwoo, a new VJ on our team.”

“Nice to meet you,” Seonwoo says politely, and the two shake hands.

“So you guys are editing a video?” Kihyun leans over you to peer at your screen.

Quickly you stand up to try and block his view. “Yeah —  _ow_.” Your movement causes the earbuds to yank forcefully out of both your and Seonwoo’s ears.

“ _Ouch_ ,” he says on a hiss.

“Oh man, I’m sorry — ” You sit back down with a thump. “Are you okay? That was my bad, sorry.”

Seonwoo gives a wince and a half-smile. “No harm done.”

“Noona, are you okay?” When you look around, Kihyun’s a step closer, concerned face all up in your area.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” You lean back and put out your hands to hold him off, conscious of Seonwoo beside you. “Anyway, yeah, we’re editing a video.”

Kihyun cocks his head, but doesn’t push. Instead he reaches down to your lap and picks up the fallen earbuds for you. “Cool, I don’t have any schedules this afternoon. Can I watch?”

You feel Seonwoo’s startled glance. “Sorry, no,” you say, trying to hit the right balance of apologetic and firm. “Watch it when it comes out, okay?”

“…Okay,” says Kihyun, his cheer cooled by puzzlement. He steps back and looks between the two of you.

You offer him a smile, while Seonwoo says, “Nice to meet you, Kihyun-ssi.”

“You, too.” Kihyun’s almost frowning now, but finally he walks off.

Seonwoo turns to you and lowers his voice. “You let him watch?”

“A few times, in the past,” you hedge. “It’s not like they have a lot of time to do so.”

“Right,” he says, and fortunately drops it.

You spend the next half an hour walking him through the finer details of a typical Mon Channel video. He asks a lot of questions that leave you with the impression that he does know his stuff, technically.

K-pop-wise, though, there’s a lot to learn.

* * *

Later that evening, Kihyun surprises you in the kitchen.

“So is the video ready yet?” He pops up from behind as you’re preparing an end-of-workday nightcap.

You jump slightly and nearly spill your tea. “Yikes, Kihyun-ah, you scared me.”

“Why?” He gives you an innocuous smile.

“Nothing. The video from this morning? It’ll take another few days to go through the rounds. It’s late, how come you’re still here?”

“I told you I don’t have any schedules this afternoon.” Kihyun moves further inside to lean against the counter. “You were editing my part today, right?”

You dodge the question with your own. “Shouldn’t you take advantage of your clear schedule and go home to rest?”

“I’ll rest tonight,” he says. “Were you talking about me with that new guy? Seonwoo?”

“Uh — what?” you buffer.

He straightens off the counter. “Is that why you were so cold to me this morning? You were discussing my facial expressions or something?”

…Okay, that’s wrong enough to make you relax and laugh. “No, Kihyun-ah, we were not discussing your facial expressions. I was showing him how Mon Channel videos work.”

“So why did you make me leave?”

“Come on, you know how sometimes new people get weird around you guys when it’s their first time working with idols,” you fib as casually as you can.

He buys it, relaxing to lean back against the counter again. “Yeah? Okay.”

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, just remember that,” you joke.

“Just your world, noona,” he teases right back, breaking into a dazzling smile.

You pretend to consider. “Hm, last time I checked, there were six other men who are just as important as you.”

“But you’re my VJ,” Kihyun says, still smiling.

Eh?? “Your — ? I’m not  _your_ VJ.”

He tilts his head. “You are, though.”

“Yah, just because I give you a little more screentime than Minhyuk-ah doesn’t mean I’m your VJ,” you say, keeping your tone light.

“That’s because Sunyoung-noona films Minhyuk the most, and you work with me the most.” Kihyun’s smile is slipping.

“Not always,” you push back. “Our team doesn’t have official assignments. And with Seonwoo joining the team, we’ll probably start rotating coverage some more.”

“So you won’t be filming me anymore just because the new guy joined?” Now he’s flat-out frowning.

“No, no. I just meant that our team is growing now, so we’ll be able to have more coverage and get more material.” You reach out and give him a light punch in the shoulder. “It’s a good thing, you know?”

Kihyun draws back like you walloped him. “Well, I thought of you as mine,” he says plainly.

 _Um_. You keep your face neutral and try not to freak out. He doesn’t mean  _mine_ romantically; you’re pretty sure you’ve done an airtight job of never revealing your mini-crush on him. This sounds more like a case of blurred professional boundaries.

“We’re all your VJ, Kihyun-ah. The whole team is everyone’s VJ.” You put on a smile and pick up your forgotten tea. “Anyway, I’m heading out, you should too, okay?”

He moves to block your way. “Hang on a moment — ”

“Whoa.” Someone enters the kitchen and walks right into Kihyun.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Kihyun turns and automatically bows; over his bent back, you see that it’s Seonwoo.

“Hello.” He dips his head to both you and Kihyun.

“Seonwoo-ssi!” you exclaim, a little loudly. “I didn’t realize you were still here. Already pulling overtime?” You paste on a smile and pray that he didn’t overhear the conversation you had just now.

“No, I actually just forgot my lunchbox at work.” He points at the fridge behind you.

“Oh, of course.” You jump out of the way and take the opportunity to slide past Kihyun as well. “Well, I’m going home now. See you tomorrow, Seonwoo-ssi.”

Kihyun gives you a look. “What about me?”

You frown. What about him? Whether or not you see Kihyun and the rest of the boys depends on their schedules, which you have zero control over. But you say, “See you tomorrow, too, Kihyun-ssi,” and hightail it out of there.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, you’re unofficially tasked with Seonwoo’s onboarding, which means you listen to all his observations about the Mon Channel video backlog and babysit him during Monsta X group activities to explain what goes on. You barely even get to hold a camera; it feels like as soon as you have a spare moment to pitch in with filming, Seonwoo’s there to ask what a first win pledge is, or why the members are wearing name tags during dance practice.

Your manager’s assured you that it’s temporary, just until Seonwoo gets his feet firmly under him and understands how the K-pop idol world works. You’ve cracked some half-jokes in response about raising your salary to reflect how your responsibilities have grown to include onboarding and training.

One early Monday morning, you and several other teammates are headed to a low-stakes variety show to film behind the scenes. You’re rejoicing because for once, Seonwoo’s not on the company car with you. This means that when you arrive at the dressing room, you finally get a camera in your hands.

Sunyoung nudges you as the Monsta X members file in. “It’s been a while since you filmed, right? Are you still taking care of the new guy?”

“Yeah,” you say with a sigh. “I don’t mean to complain, but… he just doesn’t know enough about K-pop. It’s taking up so much of my time.”

“Okay, that’s what I told Kihyun. I think he’s afraid you’ve been avoiding him or something?” Sunyoung shrugs. “Oh, there’s Minhyuk, I better get to work.” She hurries off before you can ask what exactly she meant about Kihyun.

Hefting up your camera into the familiar position, you scan the room to see what each member is up to. But before you can pick a member, two hands swoop around your head to cover your eyes.

“Guess who!” says a bright voice from behind you.

You squash the instant flutters in your heart and pull out your most casual tone. “Kihyun-ah, seriously?” You shake him off and turn to see him blinking innocently at you. “This isn’t a romance drama.”

“Yah, I’m surprised you even recognized my voice.” He crosses his arms and shifts his weight onto one hip, striking a miffed pose. “You haven’t talked to me in weeks.”

“Don’t exaggerate, it’s not cute.” You prod him in the shoulder and tip him off-balance. Total lie; he’s always cute.

“I’m not trying to be cute!” Kihyun says immediately, looking mortally offended.

“Then why are you embarrassed right now?” you say with a laugh.

“I’m not embarrassed.”

“Really? Look how red you are though.” You reach up to poke his cheek.

Just then, you see behind him — _is that Seonwoo walking in the door?_

Instantly your good mood fizzles. Did he come along in the second company van? Should’ve known that Manager would’ve brought him along, with how clueless he is.

“Y/N-noona?” Kihyun’s frowning at your hand in mid-air. Quickly you snatch it back. “What is it?” He turns to see what you’re looking at.

“It’s Seonwoo-ssi,” you say glumly. “I’ll probably have to supervise him again. See you around, Kihyun-ah.”

But when you move to step past Kihyun, his grip on your arm stops you. “Wait, noona, hang on.”

“What is it?” You tug at your arm, not eager for Seonwoo to make more assumptions about your relationship with Kihyun.

But Kihyun physically pulls you around and starts herding you away from the door and toward the opposite end of the dressing room. “I need to talk to you.”

“Right now??”

“Yes.”

He frees your arm to put his hand against the small of your back, and before you know it you’ve been propelled into the single-stall bathroom that’s connected to the dressing room, and Kihyun’s locking the door behind himself.

“Kihyun-ah!” you say sharply. “Can’t this wait? I have to oversee Seonwoo-ssi right now — ”

“Stop it.” Kihyun’s gaze is directed off to the side; he’s breathing a little fast.

You frown at him. “Stop what?”

He doesn’t answer directly. “You haven’t talked to me in weeks.” It’s a repeat of what he said outside, but this time there’s emotion behind the words.

Cautiously, you say, “I know, but not on purpose. I was training Seonwoo — ”

“Stop  _talking_ about him,” Kihyun says, raising his voice ever so slightly.

“Kihyun-ah.” Now you’re concerned. “What is it? Is there something going on with you?”

Finally he looks up, and there’s an unfamiliar light in his eyes. “Noona.” He walks forward until there’s only a short distance between you two. “Do you like him?”

You stare blankly in response.

“Do you like him?” Kihyun repeats.

“I heard you the first time,” you say, bamboozled out of your mind. “I’m just really confused as to why you’re asking that.”

That just seems to make him more stressed. “Do you or do you not? Isn’t it a simple question?”

“You mean romantically, right? Not as in, do I like him as a good colleague, right?” you check, just in case Manager set up Kihyun to find out whether you’ve been trashtalking the new employee.

Judging by the way Kihyun’s staring holes into you, that’s probably not the case. “Yes. Romantically.”

“No, I don’t like Seonwoo-ssi romantically.” You have to laugh at how absurd the concept is. “Why would I?”

Kihyun stares at you some more, then abruptly turns away and paces to the other side of the bathroom, which isn’t very far.

“Kihyun-ah, seriously, is something going on?” you ask.

“Then why do you spend so much time with him?” Kihyun spins back around to throw another question at you.

“I told you, I’ve been onboarding him.”

“And that’s why you’ve been completely avoiding me.”

“I’m not…” You pause. Maybe telling Kihyun about what Seonwoo said would just clear up all this mess. “Listen. Seonwoo-ssi noticed that the videos I film with you are too conversational, too friendly, too… close, okay? And he’s right, I reviewed my footage and I haven’t done a good job of getting you to talk to the camera instead of me. So I’ve been taking some time to think about how to do that.”

Kihyun’s quiet and still, absorbing that. You spread your hands toward him. “I haven’t been avoiding you because I don’t want to work with you, I promise. I’m just thinking about how to work better with you.”

“What if I want to be close?”

He looks up. You look back.

“What?”

“What if I want to be close with you?”

…No way. No way does he mean it, not the way you’ve secretly wished for. Holding onto that thought, you say, “We can’t blur boundaries, Kihyun-ah.”

He strides forward until he’s back in your space and you’ve got the sink digging into your back. “But I want to.” His voice has gone lower, husky.

You take in a shallow breath. “You… want to?”

Carefully Kihyun places his hands against the sink counter on either side of you, and all of a sudden there’s a storm of butterflies in your stomach.

_Is this really happening?_

He says, “I want you.”

If you leaned forward even a little bit, your mouths would touch.

You draw in a breath, feeling light-headed, and the scent of him washes through you. Without thinking, you place your hands on his biceps to steady yourself.

The muscles ripple as he immediately drops his arms from the counter, uncaging you.

“Noona?” A whisper.

You look into his eyes, his open, vulnerable eyes, and you lean forward.

Your mouths touch.

His lips against yours feels like the start of a dream, so light and ethereal you’re not sure if it’s happening or not. You feel like you should be able to sip sweetness from him, take in that beautiful vulnerability and taste it on your tongue.

When you draw back, Kihyun’s frozen, eyes wide.

You take your hands off his arms, heart racing wildly. Shaking with nerves, you cover your mouth with a hand and think,  _What did I just do?_

But Kihyun unfreezes, reaches out to pull your hand away and puts his lips back to yours like it’s the most natural thing in the world. This time he drives the kiss, working his tongue slowly but surely until you’re leaning back helplessly against the sink, clinging to him for dear life. His arms wrap around your back and pull you into him, hard. When you slide a hand upward into his hair and tug, he just about moans into your mouth.

Things inside you clench, and that sensation makes you twist away from him with a gasp. You can’t find any words.

“Noona,” Kihyun says, voice rough. “Noona.” He pulls you upright, and you look into his shining eyes. “I like you.”

That makes you laugh. “No shit.”

“Aren’t you going to say it, too?” He purses his lips in a small pout.

“Are we in elementary school?” you deflect, pushing at his arms around you.

Kihyun moves forward, and in one step he’s got a thigh wedged between your legs, pressing you back against the sink. “No,” he says, the one syllable suddenly an octave lower.

You duck your hot face away and struggle not to squirm against him. “Kihyun-ah, hang on. This is — ”

“Are you saying it or not?” He presses in closer, enough for you to feel what’s going on down there.

“I like you,” you blurt.

His eyes crinkle as he smiles wide, and he looks so beautiful that you can’t help but tip forward and peck him on the lips.

That lights him up even more, if possible, and he’s leaning in enthusiastically to continue when a thump sounds on the door.

“Yah, get out, I need to go!”

Both of you jump apart and stare at each other.

“This was such a bad idea,” you whisper at him.

“What??” Immediately Kihyun draws up straight. “No, it’s not. Noona, I really like you. You like me too, you said so — ”

“I meant locking ourselves in this bathroom!” you interrupt on a hiss. Your entire face must be red at this point.

“Oh.” He relaxes, considers for a moment, and then shrugs. “Well, at least this way it doesn’t have to be a secret.”

“There are reasons why these kinds of relationships have to be secret.”

His eyebrows dive down. “We’re not going to be secret, though.”

“We’re not?” Honestly, you always clocked Kihyun as the type to prefer discretion.

“No. This way you can officially be my VJ.”

You blink. “They’re not going to make me your official VJ just because we see each other.”

“And that guy can stop telling you to be less intimate with me.”

That is one heck of a scowl on his face right now. You prod at his cheeks. “I told you I don’t like Seonwoo-ssi — ”

“And I told you not to talk about him.” Kihyun’s hands lift to cradle your head up for another plush kiss.

“He’s my colleague,” you say, when he lets you up for air.

“But you’re mine,” Kihyun says cockily.

Your spluttering is cut off by more knocking on the door, and you hear Minhyuk’s voice: “Kihyun-ah, if you’re stinking up the place, I swear I’m throwing out all your serums when we get home!”

You muffle a giggle. “Okay, seriously, let’s let Minhyuk-ah use the bathroom.”

Kihyun considers, then abruptly drags you to the door and swings it wide open. “Y/N-noona and I are dating!”

“Kihyun — !”

“Whatever, just get out.” Minhyuk dashes by you guys and slams the door shut.

That leaves the two of you framed against the door, with an entire dressing room full of people staring at you.

“You better explain this well,” you mutter to Kihyun.

He just lifts your entwined hands, beams and announces again, “Y/N-noona and I are dating!”


	5. how to go blind with jealousy: Hyungwon

Dating an idol isn’t easy, especially when you’re a model-wannabe trying to break into the Korean entertainment industry. You and Hyungwon see each other maybe once a week if you’re lucky. You can’t complain, because you want success for him and he does for you as well.

When you get your first TV gig in a while as the nameless make-up model in the next few episodes of  _Lipstick Prince_ , you decide to text him the news instead of facetiming him. Monsta X is in the middle of comeback promotions, and you don’t want to risk calling him at the wrong time in the wrong place and accidentally exposing your relationship.

In the weeks leading up to your first  _Lipstick Prince_  appearance, the only message you get from Hyungwon is a  _Congratulations!_  and a heart emoji. So you’re surprised when you get a message from him on the first day of filming that reads,  _You’re shooting today, right? Fighting_.

You reply with a quick  _Thank you_  and a V-sign, and then it’s time to shoot.

It’s the simplest role you’ve ever done: all you do is sit on a stool while a professional make-up artist uses your face as a canvas and explains to a bunch of male idols how to apply make-up. If you weren’t dating Hyungwon, the proximity to so many cream-of-the-crop K-pop idols would probably faze you a lot more than it does.

Your fortitude is tested when Vixx’s Leo, who’s guest-starring in place of N for the episode, asks to try contouring and highlighting on you instead of the mannequin.

“This mannequin head isn’t real,” he presents as his rationale.

Heechul’s bemused: “Of course it isn’t real, Leo-ssi. It’s a decapitated head.”

“So I want to try it out on her. Before I have to do it for real.”

“It is his first time,” the make-up artist acknowledges. “It might be better for him to get in some extra practice.”

“To make sure I don’t mess up,” Leo says bluntly.

Just like that, you’re out in the main filming studio, sitting across from Jung Taekwoon at a small pink vanity with lights shining in your face. You’re working to keep your expression completely neutral. It’s hard, with Leo staring critically at your face.

“But I don’t think her face is the same shape as today’s princess,” he says after several moments of silence.

The make-up artist steps in. “All people are different, Leo-ssi. Part of learning make-up is to understand what will work well with different faces.”

“If you don’t want her, I’ll take her, hyung,” SF9’s Rowoon offers.

“Wait, I need the practice!” Astro’s Eunwoo pipes up. “I’m new, remember?” He’s the one who replaced Shownu as a regular this season.

“Yah, it’s an unfair advantage if they get to practice on the model,” BtoB’s Eunkwang protests.

While the rest of the idols join the conversation, Leo makes a move. You find your chair abruptly tugged close in between his spread legs, leaving you exposed to his judging stare from a short distance.

“Can you pucker your lips,” he says to you, his voice quiet under the hubbub.

“Sorry?” you whisper. You’re pretty sure you’re not supposed to be speaking, but you’re also pretty sure you’re not supposed to be interacting with the idols in the first place, so who knows what goes.

“Pucker your lips. Like this.” Leo sucks his cheeks in and forms a pout that is, frankly, adorable.

“Ah. Yes.” You keep your smile inside and gently pull your lips into a moue.

Slowly, Leo begins applying foundation into the hollows of your cheeks. You’re almost positive that the shade he chose is too light for contouring against your skin tone… but who cares at this point, you might as well enjoy the sensation of having your make-up done by a K-pop idol.

The make-up artist drifts over and starts commenting. “Use the foundation brush to draw a solid line first, Leo-ssi, then use the blending brush.”

That draws the attention of everyone else. “Look at him,” Heechul says with an amused laugh, pointing over at the two of you. “He complained about her face shape and then just went ahead and started practising anyway.”

“I wasn’t complaining,” Leo says. He meets your eyes for a second and repeats, “I wasn’t complaining, you know.”

He’s reassuring you, in an oblique way, and you resist melting on the spot. “Yes,” you murmur, keeping your face as still as possible.

“Good, like that,” the make-up artist says to him. “And don’t forget the setting powder.”

“Excuse me, Teacher! Don’t give him special treatment just because he got the model,” Eunkwang whines playfully.

“Yeah, come help me.”

“Don’t play favourites, Teacher!”

With a barely-there eyeroll, the make-up artist leaves to attend to the others. That leaves the two of you alone, and gives the cameras room to zoom in and capture all the angles. All you can do is keep still, breathe as silently as possible and avoid all eye contact, lest your expression give you away.

Even once practice is over and you’re off the set, the flutters remain in your stomach. You did not expect this gig to come with so much contact with the idols.

Not that you mind, of course.

* * *

The next time you see Hyungwon is the day your first episode of  _Lipstick Prince_  comes out. He invites you over to watch it together, which surprises you, and you happily accept.

It’s Jooheon who opens the door and invites you in. “Noona! Long time no see.”

“Hey, Heonie. You’re home too?” You follow him into the living room, where you find Hyungwon queuing up your episode on the television.

“Hi, Y/N-ah,” Kihyun greets you from the sofa, where he and Changkyun have gotten a start on Hyungwon’s snacks. “Congrats on your feature.”

“It’s not exactly a feature, but thank you, Kihyun-ah,” you laugh, plopping down beside him. “Changkyunnie, pass the chips?”

Hyungwon turns around then, and you get your first good look at him in what feels like forever. You can feel a smile spreading automatically on your face.

“Aren’t you going to say hi to me?” he asks, approaching with a sparkle in his eye.

“Hm, I’m not sure,” you tease. “Do I know you?”

He folds himself onto the couch beside you, slings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close enough for your noses to brush. “Take a good look.”

As an answer, you close the distance to give him a peck, then pull back and soften your voice. “How’ve you been?”

“Good. Busy.” Hyungwon’s smiling now, his expression so gentle you want to melt into it. “You too, right?”

“Not as busy as you.” You withdraw a little more, conscious of the other members in the room, and look over. “Has everyone been eating and sleeping enough, Kihyun-ah?”

“They don’t listen to me anymore,” Kihyun says promptly, always ready to snitch on his kids. “Ungrateful little punks.”

“I’m going to tell Shownu-hyung that you called us names,” Changkyun shoots back.

Jooheon squeezes in between you and Changkyun. “Are we gonna watch noona’s episode or not?”

“Are you guys all staying to watch?” Hyungwon asks them.

“Why not?” Changkyun says.

“We’re supporting Y/N-ah,” Kihyun says.

“Although I bet Kihyun-hyung just wants to see if he knows more about make-up than the idols on the show,” adds Changkyun.

Kihyun just shrugs, unashamed. “Hyungwon-ah wouldn’t even know that the episode had aired if I didn’t tell him.”

“That’s not true,” Hyungwon says, and starts the episode to prevent further accusations.

As the long introduction plays out, you wriggle around and get comfy. Hyungwon’s arm is draped along the back of the couch, and it makes a perfect headrest for you. You feed him some chips and he crunches quietly.

When the episode reaches the part where Leo asks for you, Kihyun shoots you a confused look. “Is this new in season three? Letting them practice on the models?”

You shake your head. “I think Leo-ssi just came up with this on his own.”

“Eh, look at that facetime, noona,” Jooheon crows.

The episode has cut to a montage of Leo and the careful work he’s doing to your passive visage. There are some extra flowery captions along the lines of “lost in their own world” and “oblivious to the chaos”. You’re mostly just startled and slightly impressed by your own ability to be expressionless.

“You can’t tell that I’m freaking out inside, right?” you check, pointing at the screen. “That’s a cool, chic expression, right?”

Kihyun considers, then nods. “Yeah, it passes.”

“Perfect.” You sit back, satisfied.

Changkyun reads off the subtitles that the show has added. “‘When we’re together, we don’t need anything else.’ Noona, are you sure this isn’t a feature?”

“Don’t read it aloud!” you say. “This is literally five minutes out of a fifty minute episode, it’s nothing.”

“Ten percent isn’t nothing,” Kihyun says. “Right, Hyungwon-ah?”

You all turn to look at Hyungwon. He’s been silent this whole time, which isn’t unusual for him. What  _is_ unusual is how focused he is on the TV. You’d half-expected him to be asleep by now.

“Hyungwon-ah?” You nudge him gently.

He looks from the TV to you. “Hm?”

“You still here with us?” you tease.

He blinks at you, then looks back to the TV. “What is he doing, right now?”

“What? Leo, you mean? He’s contouring.”

“…Why is your face like that?”

“My face? What is it like?”

Hyungwon stares at the screen some more.

“Like you’re going to kiss him,” he says finally.

You draw up in shock. “What? I’m not, that’s just the best way to find the face contour, really. Kihyunnie, tell him.”

“It’s true, Hyungwon-ah.”

“So why were you freaking out inside?” Hyungwon asks.

“Well, it’s a nerve-wracking situation,” you point out.

He doesn’t have an immediate reply. You settle back against the couch and focus on the episode again, keeping one eye on him.

Once your five minutes of glory are past, the rest of the episode is smooth sailing, mostly because everyone grows disinterested except for Kihyun. By the time the episode ends, you’re nodding off while Jooheon and Changkyun play a game of who-can-eat-nachos-the-loudest.

“Ah, great job, Y/N-ah,” Kihyun says generously as he turns off the TV. “You somehow looked okay even after Leo-sunbae put all that powder on.”

“Yeah,” you say with a sleepy laugh, “he kind of went overboard with the brush. At least he didn’t get too much in my mouth.”

Hyungwon’s arm tenses behind you, waking you by several degrees. When you look at him, he’s not dozing as you expected; in fact, he looks very alert.

“It wasn’t too interesting for you, right?” you say to him. “Thanks for watching it with me.”

“Did you know any of those idols before you filmed this episode?” he asks suddenly.

You’re taken aback. “Um? No, not personally. I’d heard of them, obviously, but I think the point is that the make-up model is a no-name stranger.”

He contemplates some more. “I think,” he says, “I wouldn’t have acted like that with a no-name stranger.”

“Acted like what?” Is he accusing you of something?

But he purses his lips and doesn’t answer.

You sit upright and let his arm fall away. Beside you, the other three members are now paying attention. You can feel Jooheon shifting nervously.

“Yah, hyung,” Changkyun speaks up. “You’re making noona feel bad.”

Quickly you twist to reassure him, “I’m fine, Changkyunnie.”

Hyungwon’s arm comes back up around your shoulder, restricting you from turning all the way. You frown and turn back. “What is it, Hyungwon-ah?”

He finally opens his mouth and says, “I didn’t know it would be like that.”

“Like  _what?”_

“Like you’re getting intimate with them.”

You draw back against his arm. “Intimate??”

“Hyungwon-ah, don’t be a prude, the whole focus of this show is the heart attack point,” Kihyun steps in.

“Is it?” Hyungwon says slowly.

“Weren’t you watching, hyung?” Jooheon says.

Hyungwon doesn’t move his gaze from you. “You didn’t tell me,” he says.

“Tell you what?” you say, exasperated.

He motions vaguely at the screen. “All those idols… it’s like a flirting show.”

“Well, yeah. Didn’t you see Shownu-oppa flirting when he was on the show?” you retort.

His mouth purses again as he thinks. Behind you, Jooheon’s jiggling his knee nervously.

You reach back and place a hand on Jooheon’s leg. “Jooheonie, it’s okay.”

But as soon as you touch him, Hyungwon leans in and pulls your hand toward him so he can hold it. “Y/N-ah.”

“What?” You frown at him. “What is it, why are you mad?”

“I’m not, I’m not,” he says quickly. “I’m just… confused.”

Well, that makes two of you. You tug your hands away. “Confused about what?”

Hyungwon opens his mouth to answer, then glances behind you. You turn and see Kihyun, Jooheon and Changkyun watching you both with varying degrees of squeamish interest.

Fortunately, they get the signal. “Uh, I have work to do.” Changkyun stands and brushes the chip crumbs off his lap. “Jooheon-hyung, you coming?”

“Oh yeah, of course!” Jooheon hastily agrees, and the two maknaes make their exit.

“Yah, you slobs left crumbs all over the carpet!” Kihyun hollers, following them into the bedroom hallway. “Don’t track food into the bedrooms!”

Just like that, you’re left alone with your boyfriend.

Who still looks like he’s got something on his mind, his gaze roving over your face. You feel antsy, for some reason; you shift backward on the sofa, distancing yourself, and try to figure out what to say.

“So — ”

“Did he say anything?”

You blink. “What?”

“Leo-sunbaenim.” Hyungwon nods to the TV. “When you were shooting, did he say anything?”

“Uh, besides what he said on-camera? No, nothing.”

He shifts forward. “He didn’t try anything?”

“Well, what do you mean by ‘try’?” You scrunch your brow, wondering exactly what he’s getting at.

“Beyond applying the make-up. Did he do… anything inappropriate?”

Your brain works for a moment. Then you burst into laughter. “Anything inappropriate?  _Leo-ssi?”_

Hyungwon’s drop-dead-serious face just makes you laugh even more.

“C’mon, he’s like the quietest idol ever,” you manage around your chuckles. “Are you seriously asking if he tried to hit on me?”

Hyungwon surges to his feet and walks to the other side of the room; his ears are turning red. “You said it yourself, it’s a flirting show.”

“I’m the  _make-up model_.” You march over to him and pull on his hot ears. “Nobody’s flirting with me, Hyungwon-ah.”

He turns swiftly and clasps your hands in his again, searching your eyes.

“Believe me,” you reassure him, trying to tame your smile.

“Not even Heechul-sunbaenim?” he says reluctantly.

You suppress another laugh; he probably wouldn’t appreciate it. “No, Hyungwon-ah. Believe me, okay?”

Hyungwon is still looking into your eyes like he might unearth the truth in them, so you rise on your tiptoes and fit your lips against his.

It’s a chaste kiss, but there’s an instant sense of  _right_ ness that rolls through your body and mind with the feel of him so close to you. It’s always there, every time the two of you are together, and it makes you believe in things you didn’t expect to. You press in, craving more and also wanting him to feel it too, to want you too — then abruptly your back is against the window, hands pinned to the glass, as Hyungwon presses his body to yours and begins kissing you back.

He takes his time, advancing and retreating and exploring different angles in luxurious slow-motion that has you opening for him without resistance. You know he likes it like this, being able to have and take what he wants at his own leisure, knowing that you’re enjoying every moment of it.

When you start getting lightheaded, you dip your head and duck away from him to catch your breath. He’s panting quietly in your ear.

You wet your lips and carefully meet his gaze. “You believe me now?”

He mirrors your action, tongue flicking out like a gleam of siren song. “Mm.”

“I love you,” you say softly.

His eyelashes flutter as he closes his eyes for a moment. He opens them again and whispers, “I love you too.”

Smiling, you coax his hands off the glass so you can stand up straight again. “Thanks for inviting me over to watch my episode together.”

“Anything for you.” Hyungwon leans down to brush a kiss against your forehead.

“I’m glad to hear you say that, actually, because…” You step back and gauge his expression. “I actually have two more  _Lipstick Prince_  episodes to film.”

He stiffens.

“You’re going to be cool with that, right?”

His jaw works for a bit; he stays silent.

“You’re not going to go blind with jealousy or anything, right?” You’re starting to grow amused again.

“Well…” He pivots you around and starts walking you back to the sofa. “I won’t make any promises.”

“What does that mean?” Your calves hit the couch and you fall onto the seat cushion.

Hyungwon follows you down, one knee beside your legs. “It means no promises,” he repeats simply, and proceeds to kiss you into oblivion.


	6. all those other wolves: Jooheon

It’s the first K-pop awards show you’ve been to since you started your new job as an executive assistant to Monsta X’s lead manager. Glittering ice, gleaming velvet and flashing lights saturate every corner, while screams and cheers fill the air at various intervals as the fans hype themselves up. The atmosphere is almost overwhelmingly upbeat.

So why is your boyfriend standing next to you in a quiet corner of the backstage wing with the darkest of glowers on his face?

“Jooheony.”

He doesn’t respond, just folds his arms tighter and pouts into the distance.

You give him a little prod. “Heony, I’ll just go over for a minute, okay?”

“Why bother asking me?” Jooheon sniffs and pulls away. “You already made up your mind anyway.”

“I’m not asking,” you say, torn between laughing at his childishness and knocking some sense into him. “I’m telling you because I don’t want you to think whatever you’re thinking right now.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?” he retorts.

You give a little sigh, then reach up and cup his cheeks. “You’re thinking that I’m going to ignore you so I can go talk to Bang Chan, and you’re mad about it.”

Jooheon purses his lips even more. “Noona. You brought a Stray Kids lightstick for him to sign! You don’t even own a Monsta X lightstick.”

“That’s because I don’t need a lightstick. I have you.” You glance around to check if anybody in the darkened wing is paying attention, then rise on your toes and press a buss to his pouty lips. “Understand?”

His frown starts dissolving as his gaze falls to your mouth. “Mm.”

“Good.” You move your palm to his lips to keep him from going in for another kiss. “I’ll be right back, okay? Go hang with Changkyun.”

“Y/N-noona,” he whines, but you pull away and wave in parting.

You turn around and scan the sprawling backstage wing, where groups are waiting for the cue to walk to their seats before the show starts. You hadn’t actually expected to see Stray Kids today; you’d brought your lightstick because it was the only one you owned. But now that you’re standing in the same room as them, you aren’t going to miss an opportunity to have your bias sign it.

You spot Hyunjin’s head and make your way toward him through the bodies. As the Stray Kids members come into view, you take a breath to calm your heartrate and remind yourself,  _Just talk to them like human beings. You’re asking a small favour, not sacrificing your liver._

You carefully twist past Hyunjin and Felix to find yourself face-to-face with Bang Chan. “Ah, Bang Chan-ssi?” you blurt.

He looks at you curiously. “Yes?”

As calmly as you can, you hold out your lightstick and a permanent marker. “Could you please sign my lightstick?” you ask. “I’m a fan of yours.”

“Oh — sure.” Bang Chan accepts the marker from you and leans over to scrawl on the lightstick. You lean back, trying not to breathe on his extremely sculpted hair.

He suddenly lifts his head and meets your eyes from ten centimetres away. “Sorry, I forgot to ask, what’s your name?”

“Ah, it’s fine if you just sign it,” you say quickly. It’s not like you’ll get in trouble if you associate with other companies’ idols, but you don’t want anyone getting wind that you were panting after Stray Kids, just in case.

Chan cocks his head. “Why, are you going to sell it?” he jokes.

You let out a surprised laugh. “Of course not. I’d be fired if I did that.”

“Oh?” Chan’s smiling. “Why would you be fired?”

Uhhh… “It’s a secret,” you say, and break out your cheesiest smile.

“Ah, is that so?” Chan nods and fortunately doesn’t press for more. He scribbles on one side of the lightstick, then flips it over and writes on the other as well.

When he’s done, you take it back and squint at the writing.  _To my mysterious fan_ , says one side. The other says,  _Love from Bang Chan_.

Well, you’re not complaining. “Thank you very much.” You bow your head and then waste no time ducking away into the crowd.

“Noona.” Jooheon rushes over to meet you. “What took so long?”

“Was it long?” You check your watch. “It was only five minutes. You guys haven’t gotten the cue yet, have you?”

“You said you’d be right back,” he grumbles, grasping you by the waist.

“Well, here I am.” You squirm in his hold; he’s slipped his hands under your oversized jacket and under your top, to your skin.

He slides a hand down your side and pries the lightstick from your hand. “‘ _To my mysterious fan_ ’,” he reads aloud, “‘ _love from Bang Chan_ ’?” He looks up at you with incredulity all over his face. “What’s this?”

You frown. “It’s not like I could give my name, right?”

“No, this is — why is it ‘ _love from Bang Chan_ ’?” Jooheon splutters. “Why didn’t he just sign his name?”

“Hey, I don’t know,” you defend yourself, “I didn’t ask him to write that.”

“You should’ve told him to just sign his name and be done with it.”

“It’s not like I knew he was going to write that until he did it.”

“Then you just shouldn’t have asked for him to sign it in the first place!”

“Honestly, what’s the big deal?” You snatch your lightstick back. “It’s a few words on a lightstick, that’s it! Seriously, Jooheon.”

But he’s mad now, you can tell. He drops his hand from your waist, narrows his eyes and sets his jaw. “Fine,” he sniffs, “if that’s what you think.”

“Jooheony…”

He turns and walks resolutely back to the rest of Monsta X.

You sigh. Oh well, you have to do your job anyway. So you stick your lightstick back into your pocket and return to your manager’s side. Might as well enjoy your time here while you wait out your boyfriend’s sulking.

* * *

 

Two hours later, you’re running to the dressing room to grab bottles of water. Monsta X has just finished their performance for the night, and they have less than five minutes to get rid of their sound gear, change outfits and return to their seats in the audience.

By the time you’re back with the water, the next group to perform has already queued up as well. You trot down the line of Monsta X members and hand out water bottles as you go.

“Y/N-noona, isn’t it heavy?” A sweaty Shownu accepts the bottle and looks at the bag you’re carrying.

“Don’t worry about it.” You smile at him and keep going.

“Thank you, noona,” Minhyuk chirps as you twist open the cap for him.

Beside him, Kihyun snorts. “You can’t even open a bottle by yourself?” he pokes.

“I’ll open yours for you, too, Kihyun-ssi,” you say brightly to prevent the bickering from starting up, and push the bottle into Kihyun’s hand before he can protest.

The very last member is Jooheon. You hesitate for a second, then make eye contact and offer the bottle silently. He takes it, holding your gaze with a look you don’t quite understand.

Someone speaks up, breaking the moment. “Hey — it’s you.”

You look over to your right and literally hop backward in shock: Stray Kids’ Bang Chan is standing right there, next to Jooheon. Looks like his group is up next. Past him, you can see the rest of his members lining up as the sound staff affix mics to their costumes.

Bang Chan’s looking at you, and you instinctively side-step in case he was talking to someone behind you. No luck. Chan keeps smiling your way, and now you can see Jooheon staring at Bang Chan too. Yikes.

“Hello,” you say in as neutral a tone as possible, and dip your head politely.

“You’re my mysterious fan, right?” He quirks an adorable grin. “You ran off so fast.”

“Ah, yes,” you say with an awkward chuckle, and sidle another step away.

“Do you work here?”

Before you can answer, a hand clamps down on your hip. You look round in alarm and find Jooheon next to you, arm wrapped firmly around your waist. He’s glaring at the younger boy as though he committed a crime. It is, literally, the least discreet thing you’ve ever seen.

Now Bang Chan’s looking curiously between the two of you, so in a desperate attempt to distract him, you whip out another water bottle and offer, “Would you like some water?”

His face lights up in surprise, and then amusement. “Sure, thank you.”

But as he reaches for the bottle, Jooheon grabs it from you. “Yah, that’s for Changkyunnie,” he scolds you, and turns to stuff it in a startled Changkyun’s hands.

Both you and Bang Chan stare for a moment. “Uh, I gave Changkyun water already…?” you say.

“He’s sick, he needs to drink more. But you know what?” he says to Chan. “You can have this.”

He plunges his free hand into your jacket pocket. You shy away on instinct, but he’s already got what he wants: your Stray Kids lightstick.

He holds it out to Chan and says, “For you.”

Bang Chan stares some more, puzzled grin frozen on his face.

“Ah, hang on a moment, Jooheon-ssi,” you say with a nervous laugh. “I don’t think Chan-ssi wants his own lightstick — ”

Jooheon’s hand glides across your ass, shutting you up effectively, before reaching out to grab Bang Chan’s wrist with force. “Here you go, Bang Chan-ssi,” he says, and slaps the lightstick into Chan’s hand.

“Ah,” Chan says, one hundred percent bemused. “Right.”

Just as you’re about to die from the awkwardness, the sound engineers finally get to Bang Chan, and his attention is pulled away. One of the staff takes the lightstick from him as another begins setting up the mic.

“Monsta X, this way please,” someone else calls. And like that, Jooheon’s gone, off to do idol-ish things with the rest of his members.

You stand in the middle of the suddenly-empty hall for a good minute, bewildered, before you finally regain your senses and head back to the dressing room.  _Sheesh_. 

* * *

At 1:30 am, the show’s over. The ice and velvet and lights are all gone, and the Monsta X dressing room is empty save you and one other executive assistant. The two of you are gathering the odds and ends that the crew has left behind when the door opens and Jooheon enters.

You look at each other; no one speaks. You don’t know what he’s doing back here by himself, you don’t know if he’s still mad at you, and at this point you’re a little too tired to care.

“Unnie, I’m going to move this stuff to the van,” you say to the other EA, and brush past Jooheon to carry your box of things out the door.

You get to the company car and begin wedging in the box alongside all the others. Footsteps make you look around to find Jooheon approaching. Face expressionless, he leans into the trunk and adds his strength to yours, and together you manage to stuff the box in.

Straightening, you look him over once, but hold your tongue. If he wants to get in trouble by wandering around without his manager, you’re not going to be his parachute. You nudge him away and close the trunk, then lock the car.

As soon as you turn around, Jooheon’s stepping in front of you, a little closer than necessary.

“Noona,” he says, low in his throat.

“You’re talking to me now?” Okay, not the most mature response, but he started it.

From his jacket pocket, he pulls out a Stray Kids lightstick.

You raise your eyebrows at it.

“I got you a new one,” Jooheon says, a little gruffly. “That Bang Chan kid signed it. Just his name.”

You take the lightstick from him and inspect it. Yes, there’s Bang Chan’s signature on one side of the lightstick. Nothing else.

“How did you get this?” you ask, turning it over in your hands.

He grimaces a little. “Staff were handing their lightsticks out. I asked that punk to sign one.”

“You asked him?” Your eyebrows lift higher. “I don’t suppose you managed to apologize while you were at it.”

Jooheon scowls harder. “No. Why would I apologize? I told him to keep his love to himself and never talk to you again.”

 _Facepalm_. “Jooheon-ah, really?”

“He’s my hoobae, he better listen to me.”

What did you expect, honestly. “You know that’s so not necessary. It’s not like I’ll ever see him again — ”

“Yah, noona.” Jooheon steps forward, crowding you against the car. “All men are wolves, don’t you know that?”

You back up prudently and manage a scoff. “Including you?”

“Yeah.” He leans in, tone lowering. “Except I already caught you. So everyone else can stop trying.”

His head angles, his lips part, and you know you’re one second away from making out in the middle of a parking lot at two AM in the morning.

By sheer force of will, you tear your eyes away from his mouth and plant a hand against him to preserve some distance. “Hang on, hang on.”

Jooheon looks down slowly. You realize you’ve got the hand holding the lightstick pressed against his chest, the Stray Kids logo visible against his black shirt.

He looks back at you. 

He reaches up, yanks the lightstick from your grasp and lets it drop.

In shock, you watch it plummet to the pavement. “Joo — ”

And then your hands are pinned to the car by your head and he’s kissing and kissing and kissing you, like he wants to be inside you, like he needs you to breathe, like he’d eat you up if only he could. With a weak whimper, you succumb. How can you not? It’s Jooheon.  _Jooheon_.

“Jooheon-ah.” His name slips from your lips breathlessly when he finally releases your mouth to nuzzle into your neck.

“Y/N-noona,” he murmurs back, and the way he says your name into your skin sends a shiver through your body until you’re shuddering. “I love you.”

_Oh, Jooheon._

* * *

So. You did end up making out in the middle of a parking lot at two AM in the morning, after all.


	7. you make me jealous, baby: Changkyun

You come out to Changkyun in the most incidental way, in pieces.

It happens on Monsta X’s third American tour, the first one that you attend as their official interpreter.

“Thanks very much for the help,” says Ellie, the interviewer in Chicago, as the members and staff file out of the room. She shakes your hand with a wide smile. “This whole process is honestly so much easier with an interpreter.”

“No problem. It’s nice to speak English after so long in Korea,” you admit.

She withdraws her hand and seems to consider what to say next. “If you’re up for speaking more English,” she starts off, “there are a few local places that are part of the K-pop scene, and I always recommend them for anyone who visits the city.”

“Oh, really?” The concept of western spaces dedicated to K-pop is interesting to you.

“I was planning to go out tonight. If you’re free, would you like to come with me?” she asks.

Hm. This sounds kinda like an invitation to go out… Are you reading too much into this?

You decide to check. “Like a date?” You prop up a smile; in the case that she’s straight, you can pretend it’s a joke.

But Ellie doesn’t brush it off. Instead, she ducks her head and smiles wider. “If you want it to be.”

Hot damn. It’s been a long minute since anyone tried to ask you out. You can’t stop your responding smile, even as you say, “Thanks very much for the invitation, but I’m not really a one-night kind of person. I really appreciate it, though.”

Ellie sighs playfully. “The hot ones always say no!”

“Stop, you’ll make me blush,” you say with a laugh.

“I only speak the truth.”

“Jeez…”

The two of you part ways after adding each other on Instagram. At the elevators, you find Changkyun there by himself.

“Changkyun-ssi?” you question. “Were you separated from the others?”

“No, I was waiting for you,” he says, pressing the down button for you.

“Oh. You didn’t have to.”

“I actually wanted to ask about the interview today.”

“Sure, go ahead.” Recently, he’s been coming to you to brush up on his vocabulary, go over previous interviews or learn what the latest internet slang means. It seems to be his way of showing that he’s not trying to put you out of a job when he takes over translating in interviews.

“Well, it’s…” Changkyun looks down, and you’re curious about his hesitation. “It’s a question about what the interviewer said afterward.”

“Don’t worry, you can ask me anything.”

He looks up at you, but his gaze skitters away again. “I heard the word date. When she was speaking to you.”

“Ah. Right.”

As he’s gathering what to say next, the elevator arrives, and both of you step in. He waits for the doors to close before continuing.

“Is there a new way to use that word?  _Date_? In Korean, we use it in terms of dating. But was the interviewer using it differently…?”

“Oh, no,” you reassure him. “She meant it in terms of dating. Well — ” You scrunch up your nose and squint into the distance. “I guess, more in terms of… sexual attraction?” A one-night-stand is not exactly dating. “Anyway, it was that kind of meaning, for sure.”

Changkyun’s silent. You look at him to see his slightly shocked expression, and you realize that whoops, you kinda just came out to him.

“Uh…” You raise your palms in the air, wondering if he’s gonna be okay or not. “Changkyun-ssi?”

“Noona, you — you like women?” His voice is small, scraping on the floor. “You are… lesbian?”

His brain might explode if you tell him you’re bi, so you keep it simple. “I like women, yes,” you say in your calmest tone. “It’s part of who I am.”

At that, he snaps back to life. “Oh, of course! I’m totally fine with that,” he hurriedly reassures you, even if it’s not the most convincing response. “It’s just, I never, I guess I didn’t expect that.”

“Most people in Korea don’t.” You add a smile to soften your blunt statement. “But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go around sharing with everyone.”

“Of course, of course,” he babbles, unable to look you in the eye.

“I just like to be in control of who I tell when.”

“Of course, definitely. I completely understand.”

“Great.”

With perfect timing, the elevator arrives at the ground floor, and Changkyun shoots out like his butt’s on fire.

Welp. There goes your budding friendship with the maknae of Monsta X.

*

You’re not really worried at all about him spilling the beans. He’s not the type, and plus from the way he acted, he probably would prefer just to pretend he’d never heard it at all.

But you can’t say it doesn’t sting a little when he starts minimizing contact with you. He takes the lead in interviews without double-checking with you, he doesn’t come to you for SNS posting advice and he doesn’t have full-on conversations with you in English anymore.

Well, it’s better than losing your job, you remind yourself after a week has passed in this way.

At the next interview in Texas, the interviewer Austin takes an interest in your position as interpreter, which is a change.

“So what made you decide to become a professional interpreter?” he asks after the Monsta X questions have wrapped up. “Did you get into it because you liked K-pop?”

“No, actually,” you reply, keeping an eye on the rest of the crew packing up to make sure you aren’t left behind. “I wanted to return to Korea because that’s where my family is originally from, and since I grew up in Canada, I speak both English and Korean fluently.”

“Ah, so you’re an immigrant,” says Austin with a little too much enthusiasm. “See, I think that’s so fascinating. You’re reconnecting with your ethnic roots and at the same time bridging cultures across the globe! It’s powerful work, you know?”

Aaand this conversation just devolved real quick. “Sure,” you say, deadpan.

“To be honest, I’ve always thought that English teachers in the East Asian countries were doing God’s work,” he continues. “The effort and devotion involved in bringing the western language to the east is just awe-inspiring to me.”

Good lord. “My work isn’t at so grand of a scale,” you say, truthfully. You interpret for a famous K-pop band so they can make sales in foreign markets, and that’s it.

“Oh no.” He reaches out to place his hands on your shoulders. “Don’t undersell yourself. I look up to people like you.”

Before you can brush him off, someone joins your conversation. “Noona? It’s time to go.”

You both look round to see Changkyun. He’s got his blank gaze trained on the interviewer, who’s caught off-guard by the sudden injection of Korean.

But your job is done, you’re not interpreting anymore. “All right, let’s go,” you say to him. “Nice to meet you,” you say in English to the interviewer with a fake smile.

“Uh, nice to meet you too. Oh, by the way, did I get your name?”

Changkyun reaches in with an arm, casually swipes away the interviewer’s hands on you and hovers his hand over the small of your back. “We’re going now,” he says bluntly in English to Austin. “Bye.”

Without even waiting for a response, he uses his whole body to herd you out of the room and into the hallway.

Once again, the two of you are waiting by yourselves for the elevators. You glance at Changkyun, who’s looking away, and sigh internally.

But then he abruptly whirls around, startling you. “Noona. In those situations — can’t you just tell the guy that you like women?”

_Um, what?_

“Excuse me?” you say, 100% confused.

“In situations like that one.” He waves vaguely down the hall. “Wouldn’t it end quicker if you told him you like women?”

“Wouldn’t  _what_  end, exactly?” Your eyebrows are scrunched so far up they feel like they’ll fall off.

Changkyun struggles for a bit, then bursts out, “The flirting. The way he was hitting on you.”

_Eh???_

Wow, he probably misunderstood that conversation by a thousand and one miles. “Hang on a minute. That man wasn’t flirting with me.”

“He was,” Changkyun insists loudly, then lowers his volume. “I heard what he said.”

“Okay,” you humour him, “but I think you misunderstood what he was saying — ”

“Noona, don’t you think you probably misunderstood?” he cuts in. “Because you’re not attracted to men?”

And there’s the other real misunderstanding. Might as well just clear it up right now.

“Changkyun-ssi,” you say as placatingly as you can, “I am attracted to men.”

He blinks. And blinks and blinks.

“And no, that man was not flirting with me. He was spouting a lot of orientalism crap, actually, and I don’t think that’s ever been considered a flirty subject — ”

“Wait a moment, noona.” He’s staring blankly at the elevator doors, processing.

“Yes?”

“You like men?”

“Yes.”

“But you also like women.”

“Yes. It’s called being bisexual, if you want to be official about it.”

He blinks some more.

Finally, when he turns to look at you, there’s a strange kind of confusion on his face. “You didn’t tell me this.”

You tilt your head. “I told you I like women.”

“But you didn’t say you also like men.”

“I mean.” You shrug, not interested in getting into bisexuality politics at this moment. “It’s the more normal of the two, no?”

“But that’s important.”

“Why?”

His jaw works.

“Where is the elevator, anyway…” You turn and see that the button isn’t even pressed. “Oh.”

But when you reach out to press it, Changkyun grabs your hand and says, “Wait.”

You gather your patience and let your hand go limp in his grasp. “What is it, Changkyun-ssi?”

He tugs, and now the two of you are square, face-to-face. “That means…”

You wait.

“That means I can like you.”

…

What?

What?

What?

“You can like me?” you repeat dumbly.

The two of you stare at each other for a long moment.

Slowly, you begin to work your hand out of his grip. “Um.”

“No.” Changkyun tightens his hold and takes your other hand, too. “Noona.” He says the one word, and then starts flushing deeply. 

“Changkyun-ssi…” You try to pull back, but that seems to strengthen his resolve.

“Noona — I like you.”

You gape at him. Like, you physically feel your jaw loosening. What is happening?

“Um — ”

“I do. I like you,” he continues, voice getting huskier. “I like it when you teach me new English words; when we write SNS posts together; when we have really long conversations at night together...”

“Changkyun,” you try again, even though you have no idea what to say.

A scowl starts to darken his face. “But... I  _really_  don’t like it when other people hit on you.” He shoots you an accusing look. “I thought I only had to watch out women. But now I have to watch out for men, too.”

“You don’t have to — ”

“I do.” He steps into you, and instinctively you take a step back to preserve the space between your bodies. “Because — ” His face is deep red now, but he gets the words out once more: “Because I like you.”

Okay, what the fuck? What kind of noona romance drama is this? What leading actor is currently playing Im Changkyun and equipping him with all these lethals lines? And why is this hallway so conveniently devoid of people?

Your face is hot, you can’t look him in the eye, and, oh yeah, he’s still  _holding your hands_. You tell yourself not to back up anymore, because that’s how heroines get pinned against walls and kissed.

Not that you would mind.

You wouldn’t mind? 

Since when did you come to the conclusion that you wouldn’t mind kissing Changkyun?

“Noona.” He leans in again, and you barely hold yourself steady. Quietly, he asks, “Do you like me, too?”

Your head is ducked down so far your neck is getting a crick. With effort, you manage, “I don’t…  _not_ like you.”

“You — ”

“BUT,” you say hastily, “think this through, Changkyun-ah. You’re an idol. I work with you. I’m older than you. Think about how unrealistic this is.”

He doesn’t respond right away, and when you dare to peek up, his eyes look unfocused.

“Yah. Im Changkyun?”

He meets your gaze as a dopey smile starts to spread across his face. “You called me Changkyun-ah.”

“What? Oh.” That’s what he chooses to focus on? You’d facepalm right now, except he’s still clasping your hands in his.

“Before we talk about all that…” Changkyun leans in far enough that your foreheads brush, and so do your breaths. “Can you tell me that you like me?”

When you struggle to respond, he hurries to add, “Because I know, I know I like you, noona.” Another step in, and now his legs are almost around yours. “You make me jealous, you know that? It’s so stupid. But... I want you to want me.”

His quiet openness shakes you. What are you supposed to be replying to again? Your mind is dazed and dizzied while every sense feels overstimulated:  _touch, sight, sound, smell_ … 

“Do you, noona?” he asks, oh so vulnerable.

You look into his eyes. You swallow. You can’t shake your head no.

He whispers: “Can I kiss you?”

 _Taste_.

Slowly, you nod once.

He comes to you breathlessly. There’s heat on your mouth and then there’s him on your mouth, a dry pressure that instantly sweetens when he shifts and angles his head. You close your eyes and automatically tilt your chin into him, not even really conscious of what you’re doing, and oh. Now you feel him across every nerve in your lips. Now there’s the start of a liquid reaction that you haven’t felt for a while, a chemical rush that sweeps you up and takes you away.

Changkyun opens his mouth. The slow pull and rub of his lips against yours draws your tongue instinctively. And nothing is dry anymore, the kiss is all lush sensation and a physical response that nearly bewilders you with the intensity.

His hands have moved to your head and he pulls you to him like the two of you might meld into one if he holds you tight enough. You touch his tongue with yours, repeatedly, and think:  _Doomed. I’m doomed_.

He breaks off the kiss first, using his grip in your hair to gently pry you away. You lift your eyelids and see him staring back at you. Beautiful.

“Noona,” he whispers.

“Uh?”

“I think you like me.”

“Mm,” you manage.

His eyes narrow as he begins to smile. “Noona.”

“What.”

He pulls you firmly into him, into what is the most romantic hug you’ve ever had, and for a moment you feel tears threaten to emerge.

The two of you stand in silence for a while. You allow yourself to feel it, feel the happiness and comfort and bliss that courses through you in his embrace.

“Tell me,” he whispers into your hair.

“What?”

“Say you like me.”

You squirm a little. “Do I... have to?”

Changkyun pulls back and looks you sternly in the eye. “Should we kiss again until you’re sure?”

“No! No, no. No need.”

“Then tell me.” He leans in to rest his forehead against yours again.

You feel like shivering at the closeness. “Can you give me time?”

“Time?”

You place a hand on his chest. “If we start a relationship, I want to do it right. It can’t just start like this because you learned I was bi and you were jealous about a male interviewer.”

“What?” Changkyun draws back in affront. “How can you say we’re ‘starting like this’? You don’t even know how long I suffered, being around you all the time, just waiting and waiting for you to pay attention to me — ”

“Okay, okay,” you cut him off, giving him a light smack. “No need to be dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic!” He grabs your hand again. “Remember our first day in Boston, when you asked that tour guide for directions and he asked for your number in return? I had to tell him to knock it off before he left us alone.”

You frown. “I’m pretty sure he only wanted my number for telemarketing purposes.”

“And what about Portland, that barista wrote his name and number on your cup!”

“Uh, more like he just misheard me when I told him my name — ”

With a groan, Changkyun crushes you to him again and squeezes you tight. “You’re so oblivious,” he complains.

“I really don’t think so,” you say, amused. “I think you’re maybe a bit biased.”

He sighs and draws back again. “Because I like you,” he says, so simple and straightforward that you’re blushing and smiling.

He leans in for another kiss, so you quickly apply force to his chest. “Wait. Let’s head back to the company now. Okay? Everyone’s probably wondering where we are. And I want to take care of all the politics before we go any further.”

He looks at you with disappointed puppy dog eyes, and you reach up to pat his cheek. “I’m not saying no, okay? Trust me.”

“Mmph. Okay. Fine.” He loosens his arms, and you already miss the feeling.

When you finally press the button for the elevator, the doors slide open as if the elevator was waiting the whole time. But as you’re about to walk in, a voice calls out to you.

“Hey! You’re still here?”

You pivot on the spot with dread and… yep, there’s good ol’ Austin, walking down the hall toward you.

“Hey there, I.M,” he says to Changkyun, tipping an imaginary hat.

“Hi.”

Austin brushes off that single flat syllable and addresses you. “Glad I caught you. I wanted to ask if you’d like to exchange contact information. I’d love to hear about the work you’re doing with Monsta X within the K-pop industry — did I mention it’s a passion of mine?”

You open your mouth to decline politely, but Changkyun beats you to it. “Sorry, no time. We have to go. Now,” he says in English, and shepherds you into the waiting elevator car.

“Thanks for the interview,” you tack on hastily, to be diplomatic.

Changkyun looks at you, then bends down, braces his hands on either side of you and plants his mouth firmly on yours.

The elevator doors slide closed on Austin’s shocked face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand that's a wrap on the Jealousy series! All my writing can be found on [Tumblr](http://eastasianfeelings.tumblr.com) if you're interested in imagines, reactions and other bits :)


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